How to Work with (Almost) Anyone By Michael Bungay Stanier

Introduction

Your happiness and your success depend on your working
relationships. The people you manage. How well you work with
your boss. The way collaboration happens with colleagues and peers.
How you connect with important prospects and key clients.
But the hard truth is this: most of us leave the health and fate of
these relationships to chance. We say “Hi,” exchange pleasantries,
hope for the best, and immediately get into the work.

No wonder. What needs doing is urgent, demanding, and right
there. So, you roll up your sleeves and jump in, all the while crossing
your fingers and offering up a prayer to the gods that the other
person is as good as they seem… well, is half-decent… actually, you
just hope they don’t turn out to be a nightmare. (Most of us have been
disappointed enough times to have significantly lowered
expectations.)

Soon (sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes minutes), the first
cracks appear. A misunderstanding. An expectation not met. A low
grade irritation. A random act of weirdness. Different ways of seeing
the world or getting things done. A flare-up under stress.
In short, disappointment.

Every relationship becomes suboptimal at some point, whether
it’s a good one that goes off the rails or one that was poor from the
start. When suboptimal happens, most of us don’t know what to do
about it. We blame them, or ourselves, or the universe (or maybe all
three). We get all the feelings: sad, let down, irritated, frustrated. But
mostly we are resigned to the fact that this is what happens:
relationships always get a little broken, or a little stale, or a little
worse. C’est la vie, c’est la guerre. Carry on.
But it doesn’t have to be like this.